Kinds of people 2

Part 1

I asked him, "Of these four, which one is right? Which is the right way of being?"

"They are all right, in their own contexts," he answered. "Each one of these worldviews emerged for the people who hold them due to their life conditions. They are appropriate worldviews for people to hold, depending on their circumstances. There is no one right way for all people to be, universally. Some ways are good at certain times, in certain situations."

"Shouldn't we be trying to encourage people to adopt that last one, the one concerned with others, and the health of the system?”

“No,” he answered. “That should not be our goal. It’s not necessary, and largely a waste of time. People can grow into being other types throughout their lives, but they only do so at their own pace, in their own time. We don’t want to eliminate any of the types. They all have something to contribute.”

"I'm not sure I can see how that only-out-for-themselves type can be any good," I said.

"That drive can actually be very useful, if it's channelled appropriately. It can be a drive to succeed, spurring us to accomplish great things," he said.

"Ah," I said. "I think I'm beginning to see. In order for there to be a healthy society, there needs to be a way for these four types to work together."

"Exactly," he said. "If any one of the types becomes dominant, it can lead to grief. A healthy society needs the balancing energy of all of them.”

Peace,

Dave Roel.

Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.

- Marin Luther King, Jr.

Some wonderings

I apologize if this comes across as a rant or controversial. But I just kind of randomly wonder about things. Like, why does anyone think that it’s okay to allow a baby to “cry it out”, just be left alone for hours to cry until it’s exhausted? Why does anyone think that’s okay? Why does anyone think that’s healthy? Or, why does anyone think that formula is as good as or superior to natural breast milk? How could anyone think that? Or separating newborns and their mothers for hours after birth (“for observation”). Why do newborns have to lie alone during their first hours after birth, crying, untouched, obviously hungry for human contact? Why does anyone think that’s a good idea? Why are C-sections so routine? Far more than in any other country? It’s very hard to believe that these are healthy practices. I also wonder why these issues are even considered to be controversial in the first place. I mean, these are really issues that have more to do with science than with religion or politics. Why do people get passionately worked up about these things? I also wonder why someone can’t bring up these issues without getting considered a crackpot, or why you can’t have a reasonable, civil, mature conversation about these issues without the conversation dissolving into a bunch of lame jokes. I wonder why people get worked up or uncomfortable about these matters.

(I actually know the answers to these questions. But you should think about these matters yourself.)

Yeah, watch a cartoon. ☺

Skip Pitts from Loaded Pictures on Vimeo.

Peace,

Dave Roel.

He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.

- Nietzsche

A morality post

This was re-posted:

“A long while ago I was on facebook saying something about missing my father after he died. Someone came on the thread and said that there is really no such thing as death, it just appears to be so, and that I shouldn't be sad about my father's absence since he wasn't truly absent. After a wee tit for tat on this, in order to make a point, I deleted one of her messages in which she 'proved' that there was no such thing as death. She got extremely upset that I deleted her message but I explained to her that her message was not truly deleted, it just appeared to be so. She continued being upset and defriended me at which point I suggested that she might want to look at why she is so upset with the death of her facebook comment while saying that I had no reason to be upset about the death of my father.”

The poster who re-posted it commented, “A brilliant example of how to deal with a person stricken with the being an ------ syndrome brought on by spiritual bypassing.”

While it is clever, what happened here is gravely problematic, and should not be held up as an example of how to correctly go through the world.

It’s clear that the commenter was behaving inappropriately. Yes, she was being a jerk. Yes, she was violating this guy’s boundaries, being inconsiderate, rude, terribly offensive and insensitive. But this guy’s response was also these things equally, to her. That’s not right. Both actions are wrong.

We cannot live in a morality of eye for an eye, fighting fire with fire, you hurt me so I get to hurt you. That is no way to build a society, and no way to live an ethical life. Injuring one who has injured you is not justice, it’s revenge. It’s an impulse that comes from a low version of ourselves, not the highest we are capable of. We have to be better than that.

What’s the point of fighting the injustice, if, in doing so, you commit the same? If the hero of the movie behaves as bad as the villain, then what’s the difference? Who cares who wins? Whoever wins, it comes to the same thing. Morality only means something if one way is better than the other. This was an example of two wrongs. Neither was more morally correct. They both deserve to be seen as inappropriate actions.

☺

Peace,

Dave Roel.

When your fear touches someone's pain it becomes pity; when your love touches someone's pain, it becomes compassion.

- Stephen Levine

Why bother?

I've had many people resist a lot of my philosophy, saying that there's no point in putting forward the effort to change one's life. Indeed, the amount of effort required is enormous. Why work towards getting oneself fit, why work so hard to get out of debt, why bother putting in the work needed to heal a bad marriage? What's the point?

Without the motivation, our attempts to improve ourselves will inevitably fizzle. It's true, the modern world has undermined many of the traditional pillars people have usually relied on. The modern world has become somewhat untethered to traditional values, where truth and meaning and values are somewhat up for grabs. This can be a good thing in some respects, but can also lead to a certain fatalism. Why bother? What's the point? Under the relentless assault the world gives us, a value-free ethic will be insufficient to maintain the continual forward press needed.

So why bother moving forward, improving, growing? Why bother if the universe is meaningless, if everything is going to end as dust anyway? Why bother putting forward such enormous amounts of work to improve and grow?

Because you love yourself.

And if you can’t say that, then you know what you have to work on.

Your own love of yourself will motivate you to continue to grow, live, improve, get better. It will give you the reason to continue the effort. You love yourself, and you deserve a life of happiness and fulfillment.

That’s why. You’re worth it. ☺

Peace,

Dave Roel.

You don’t get to choose how you are going to die. You can only decide how you are going to live.

- Joan Baez

Kinds of people 1

“Listen carefully,” he said. “This is important.”

“Okay,” I said.

“In this world, you’re going to have to deal with four kinds of people. If you learn to recognize them, and know how to manage them, life will be easier for you.”

“Okay,” I repeated, intrigued.

“First, let me make sure you understand that these four aren’t all the kinds of people there are. There are others that don’t fall in these categories. The categories I’m going to tell you about don’t include children, invalids, the extremely old, those with extreme mental or physical ailments, the homeless, etc. Those are people out there, too, but I’m not talking about them. I’m also largely talking about people in the contemporary industrialized western culture. There are certainly people in non-western cultures, indigenous peoples, tribal people who live and think in very different ways from us in the industrialized west. They are out there, too, of course, but for the most part, we in the west don’t tend to run into them a whole lot. I’m talking about the types of people that you will largely have to deal with in your life. You understand?”

“Okay,” I said. “I got it.”

“So,” he said, “there’s four types of people you’ll run into. First, there’s people who are only out for themselves. They’ll do anything for themselves, and nothing for you. They don’t care about you. What matters to them is that they win. And they’ll run over you if you get in their way. There’s always going to be people like that, and they’ll be present more often than you realize. You can find them on the streets, on the sports field, or in the boardroom. Don’t think you can get them on your side, or that you can change them. All you can do is learn to recognize them, and do what you can to protect yourself.”

“I actually know plenty of people like that,” I said.

“The next type,” he said, “is the people who are committed to following the rules. It doesn’t matter what the rules are, it just matters that they are followed. It could be religious rules, or it could be legal rules, or it could be social rules. There are all sorts of different sets of rules out there, and for each one, you can find these types of people obeying them. They are true believers, unwavering in their devotion to their set of rules. They will not alter their commitment to what they know as the one true path. Anyone who is not on board with their belief is, to them, a heretic who must be corrected. There is nothing you can do to reason with them, or get them to alter their view in any way. All you can do is learn to work with them, in their unvarying, unyielding beliefs.”

“Huh. I know many people exactly like this, too,” I said, impressed with what he was spinning for me.

“Then,” he said, “there are the people who believe in progress and improvement and achievement. These people see the story of mankind as an upward trajectory, continually improving, getting better. They believe in scientific progress, that man has applied logic and reason to the world and has improved the lot of humanity, and will continue to do so. They will tell you that science and technology are boons to humanity, economic growth is always possible, and that personal achievement and improvement are desirable goals.”

“Hm,” I said, thinking about it. “I do know many people like this, too.”

“And,” he continued, “there are people who are concerned about the health and stability of the systems of the world. From these people we have environmentalism, civil rights, social justice, women’s rights, psychology, animal rights, postmodernism, the new consciousness movements, etc. They are concerned about the health of the systems, and they are putting their efforts toward correcting injustices and practices that cause harm.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I do know people like that, too.”

“These are, for the most part, the people who are out there. It’s in your interests to learn how to recognize them, and how to deal with them when you come across them. A lot of problems come up when we’re trying to get someone to change, or be a different way from what they are. Your life will be a lot easier once you give that up, and work with people as they are.”

Peace,

Dave Roel.

The highest result of education is tolerance.

- Helen Keller