Monday, May 5, 2014

Choosing our response

You get to choose your response to things. There are things in life that we can't control, certainly. Sometimes, completely unexpected things happen out of the blue that we could never have predicted. But we can choose how we want to respond to them.

When something bad unexpectedly happens, we have an immediate reaction. How to respond without reacting? First, breathe deeply. Good, calming, rhythmic, deep breathing is a great help in calming ourselves. The calmer our mind, the more choices we have available to us. We may be able to choose a response that comes from a higher version of our self. We have more choices than we initially think we do, with a mind that is in the middle of automatically reacting.

Now that we see our options, we can decide if there's something about the situation that can be changed. When things can't be changed, we can still frame it in a positive way, and begin to make a plan to negotiate the situation with skill and grace.

We never have to accept a situation that doesn't serve us. If we see the situation with clarity and understanding, we can deal with it skillfully, and begin to take the steps to make things different.

When we look at our previous responses to things, it can be useful to analyze what the results were. What responses worked, brought us desirable results, and what responses brought us unfavorable results. Knowing that can certainly inform our choices.

Rather than just letting the problems of life get us down, we can use them to make us stronger.


Dave Roel.
The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
- Sonya Friedman

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