Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Mind Over Matter

So for some reason, the time change has made me feel even more tired, and its already been a few days. You would think I would be used to it by now! I usually get up before classes at 6am to work on my insanity workouts, and today I shut my alarm off and continued sleeping!

I am in a speech 100 class this semester. You ever wonder what the people's secret is that seem to be so confidant in speaking in front of other people? I rehearse, I pick topics I know, and yet I get so nervous. I used to never talk in my classes either because I was thinking of how I can feel the whole class stare at me. I found the solution to this problem though was to be taking classes that I felt passionate enough about to raise my voice up, but even more then that to sit up front so I could feel like I was in a small class with just one row of students and the professor. That really made a difference for me to start making sure that I was contributing in classes. Sometimes I wish I had learned this trick many years ago. I have had professors and teachers in the past deduct points for not speaking up in class. I never thought this was fair to bring down a good students grade simply because they were shy, or had a fear of talking in public. This could go into a whole conversation also about extrovert versus introvert, but that may be a little of what I wanted to say today (although it would be a good subject in the future). I have learned through out my time here at FC though, that no matter what you will always have to do presentations, or speak in front of people. So there is no way around it and I need to be comfortable with it. I have done acting in my life and people always ask me "how can you do that, and then have a fear of speaking?". I always tell them that it is different, because when I am talking, I am myself. I am not a character at that point, and I am not in a scene acting with others.  I need to just say to myself "this is me, you may not like me, but this is what I have to say." I have not perfected speaking in front of people. I know that I have not hidden behind my fear so that i can try and still take opportunities that come my way. But the fight of flight response happens every time. My heart starts to race, my hands start to shake and perspire and I feel like I am speaking super fast.

Oh and for the record, I don't know who actually can picture their audience naked to make them calm. Sometimes I think to myself "is this just something that some bored person made up and then some how it got started that it was a technique to make you less nervous?". I don't have the answers, I admit i even get nervous going on stage, but there is a rush that I can't describe after the performance is over. I am waiting to someday have that rush for speaking in public. Until then I just try to mask to the best of my ability the fear I have. In my speech class though, you realize that almost everyone has this same fear and it makes you feel that you are in a safer environment simply because you are not alone in feeling this way.

Okay well today i just want to crawl back into bed but I have another class. I hope you all are adjusting to the time change better then I seem to be!

Live life to the fullest and don't forget to smile at some one today!


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