Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Smack dab into the middle of the unknown

This is the first, and I'm the first, the first post, the first person. And now, let's unravel a bit.

I like to be part of projects, but that description wouldn't really do justice to my thoughts, so I should really say I like to be part of things, and people, and conversations, I like to be part of physical and mental change, not change as in I'm gonna change the world, that's too far out and quite irrelevant, I mean change as in self change, let's all start out by shifting ourselves into a different mindset, let's play with that for a bit and see what happens, maybe we'll land face flat on the ground and when we get up well say, "I've never been here before, the view is quite nice."

The word I'm looking for is "engagement," and by that I mean, I want to jump into the mud and really feel what it's like to be in every situation, deep deep deep. Isn't that the whole point of everything? To just go and do it, to submerge yourself so deep down in life that you have trouble breathing. I think it is, and all those people that say other wise are stupid.

For me, the way this worked, was with a river. It happened this summer while camping out with my friends. We went out for a swim and when we got there, the water was freezing, it was extremely cold, colder than anything I'd ever thought. Most of them were hesitant to even put their feet in, but something happened to me, I mean, just being there something happened to my brain, or my mind, or something about me snapped and it made me think, "I'm here, and this is now, and the water is cold, let's see what happens."

I dove into the freezing water, and through my brain, I heard a hissing sound.

When I came out I was shaking, and my lips were shaking, and my arms were shaking.

That was the first time I truly felt the blood moving in me, because I'd claimed my presence in that place of the world, and it was there and then and it was me.

I'm just saying, maybe we should just dive smack dab into the middle of the unknown. And maybe then, we can really feel something.

1 comment:

  1. I had a rough day today and the funny thing is that everything that came out of today is exactly what you wrote about. I need to do exactly that! I need to close my eyes and let myself be and see what happens... Great start!