lucky day

November 23rd was my mom’s birthday. I bought a digital picture frame and put about 250 pictures in it before shipping. I should’ve sent it like a week before so that she could get it on time. But, I sent it to Korea on the 23rd. “RIGHT ON TIME:)” I know I procrastinate all the time in all situations. What a spoiled daughter I am! I need to get over laziness. Any suggestions on how to do that? Lol

I left my cell phone in a lady’s bathroom at school and didn’t even realize it. After I got back home from school around 6:45 p.m., I had dinner and was on Facebook. My host mom called one of my housemates and told him that she wanted to talk to me. Until he handed over his phone to me, I didn’t know I didn’t have my cell phone with me. She said that one girl at school found my phone and called her since I saved her as “mom.” The girl said that she had the same experience and got her cell phone back from some stranger, so she’s willing to come by my house and give my phone back to me. How nice of her! I was very amazed by her kindness. Right after she got out of class around 8:30, she stopped by my house and didn’t say much, but gave me my phone. I will do the same if I encounter some strange cell phones like she did for me. I was deeply touched by her attitude and generosity. Hope she has a chance to see my blog (:

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna

My thanksgiving

Did you have a great Thanksgiving?

I really did! I had the American traditional Thanksgiving dinner 4 times this week. I had it 4 times last year as well and gained like 5 pounds. And wow! This time went amazingly great but made me gain a couple pounds again. I feel very satisfied with the food, but so horrible because I am getting fatter. My friend even told me that I needed to lose weight. How rude. So I will be on a diet beginning tomorrow! Yes, I will. What I am saying here on this blog is official, so this might help keep me on a diet and to get rid of food temptation.

Yesterday was very fun. My aunt and her husband who live in LA picked me up around 4 p.m. and took me to Koreatown in LA. I hadn’t really been to Koreatown since I came to America, but I have heard that it is very fun. I was getting excited to get there with them so I hummed a bit on the way in the car. As soon as we got there, we had Korean food called Dduck-bok-gi. It’s made of rice cake and some Korean special hot sauce. Probably one of my favorite Korean foods. I inhaled the food since I was starving and I hadn’t had Korean food for a while. Afterwards, my aunt and uncle showed me around Koreatown, but it started raining, so we just got back in the car after like 10 minutes of sightseeing. Then we went drinking. I had a Korean drink called so-joo with lots of food. Yes I ate tons of food, that’s why I am saying I need to be on a diet! I heard, there was a Kings game in downtown LA, no wonder why there was a bunch of people on the street around 10:30 at night. I really enjoyed watching people walking on the street and giving hi-fives to each other. I guess their team won the game haha. I got back home late at night and went to bed right away. I bet I snored a bit last night because I was very exhausted and drank little bit! One of the best nights ever here in America though.

Well I don’t think I need to tell you about this personal stuff like my snoring. My bad haha. Hope you all had a great week. Tomorrow is Monday AGAIN. Which means we need to go back to our reality. R U ready? Hope you are.

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna

missing my home...

At the end of May my family and I moved from Rowland Heights to Covina. It does not seem like that much of a difference but to me it was one of the biggest things to happen to me in my life. I know there are people that always move around to different houses or apartments or whatever. However, I was fortunate enough to live in the same house my entire life. My family lived in that house for 23 years. In May we had to move and it broke my heart. Not only is it the house I grew up in but also the only place I know. Another plus was that it was only 2 minutes away from my job. Literally 2 minutes, maybe 5 if I hit all red lights.

Since we moved into the house in Covina I cannot help but be sad and upset every time I drive past the old house to go to work. And lately it has been hitting me a lot. I keep waking up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and I walk right into my nephews room because that is where our restroom would have been in the old house. I cannot count how many times I get off of work late and I am completely exhausted and without thinking I drive right to the house in Rowland Heights. My body is just programmed to go there and when I am that tired and I cannot think anymore my body just does what it remembers.

I know that the house I live in now is nicer and I finally have my own room, but the problem is it is just a house. It does not feel like a home to me. I feel like if I am staying in a Hotel and I cannot get comfortable. I know that this should be my home but I cannot wrap my mind around it for some reason. I think the hardest thing for me is to watch my nieces and nephews play in the backyard of the new house and them tell me how much they miss the old house and how the backyard at the old house was bigger and cooler. I never thought that we would move out of that house and it hurts me the most knowing that my nieces and nephews, and whenever I have kids, will never be able to play hide-n-seek on the same street that we did. Or they will never be able to enjoy the huge hill on the side of our street, the horse trail, fossil hill, and so many other wonderful things that I took for granted over the years.

I know that they will create their own memories and they will cherish them many years down the road just like I am, but I wish they would have had the same experience that I did. I wish they did not have to move around as much as they do and that they could call one place their home like I was able to. However, that is not the case and they must learn to except it just like I must continue to try and except it.

Well, I am still upset about the move and its been around 6 months. Hopefully I will learn to except it soon. I am sick of waking up upset about it and missing my home.

Until my fingers meet the keys, Amber

21

21. I'm 21 years old ever since Saturday. It is beyond my ability to comprehend that somehow I have come this far. With my body. Soul. Mind. With me. And now I'm here and another chapter in my life begins. The cycle of my human nature keeps on turning. On and on and on. Forever with a little push of hope.

And that is with my feet I carry, and with my legs I push, and with my arms I hold myself in the turmoil of my everyday survival, and my goal is, that soon enough I won't only be surviving, but rather living, the type of living that fuels soul and spirit.

I have been working six days this week, five over at metro pcs, where things seem still and calm, I still have a lot to learn there. And today was over at Rubio's. It was very hectic for a little bit. It made me want to throw up just moving so fast and being so stressed over what all customers were saying. But I got through, and not even a scratch. I'm made of steel.

But the most important thing in my life right now, ladies and gentleman, let's pray together as tomorrow the dream act takes yet another lift off the ground, congress will once more be voting on it. With our good hearts and good wishes, with the most inner good energy that we can find, let us stand as one and be witnesses that in fact miracles do exist.

I leave in pray and hope for the best.

Stay Tuned
-angel

Over it!

I am so over guys trying to hit on me when they have children and/or a girlfriend/baby momma. Recently this past week I have had three blasts from the past and for the most part they were not good ones. Just to show what type of experiences they were here is an example.

I was dating this one guy in high school for a very short time and this week he just told me that he wants to hang out this coming week and talk about us. He told me that he never got over me and blah blah blah. That is nice to hear and kind of flattering, but the fact is he has a girlfriend and he has two children. There is nothing wrong with having children, but I think that if someone does have children then they should worry about taking care of them and not trying to talk to girls, especially when they have a girlfriend.

I am super frustrated because it seems like there are no good guys out there anymore. All the guys that hit on me or at least lately have girlfriends. It's not like I am looking for a guy, but jeez does every guy have to be a slime ball. It just sucks because those poor girls that are with these guys are getting cheated on by these slime balls and they probably have no idea. Because if they are trying to talk to me I bet they are trying to talk to others as well. I just do not understand the point of cheating on someone. If you want someone else then just break it off with the other person and live the single life. Right? Anyways,

Until my fingers meet the keys,
Amber

Oops!

So this past weekend has been so long and busy that I did not even have time to write my second blog of the week. I feel bad that I did not get to write the second blog. I love writing and I feel like it relieves some of my stress.

This weekend I worked so much because the holidays are coming up. On Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday I worked eight hours, it was so crazy! On Sunday I didn't get off work until 12am. Usually the latest we get off on a Sunday is 9pm. Three extra hours is a huge difference, especially because I have class Monday morning at 7:30am. Yesterday was such a long day!

Completely off the subject but I am having such a hard time deciding what school to choose.... There are so many good options but the hardest thing for me is to decide if I want to go because I want a great education or if I want to play water polo for a better team. This is so confusing! I know most people would say go for the education especially because it would be a free education at one of the schools; however, I am not sure I want to go there just because the education is free. My parents will probably kill me for saying that but they would also tell me to go where ever is going to make me happy. Can't someone just show me a little white light and tell me where to go? That would be so helpful.

Well, I have to go get some homework done. I have math homework due at midnight tonight that i have not started and then a 4 page paper due tomorrow that again I have not yet started.

So, Until my fingers meet the keys,
Amber

Still all good stuff

I'm learning how to stay calm, and at rest, and have a peace of mind that only being true to myself can bring me.

My new job will be from three to nine from monday through friday. On the weekends I will work at Rubios, usually eight hours. I want to see how my two jobs play out on me. And then, I will make a decision as to which one I'll keep. I dont' want to rush ahead and start making decisions now. Because I haven't quite yet settled into my new job, a cell phone kiosk at the mall. So far so good, but I'm keeping my eyes open and trying not to loose my breath. I'll be taking quite a few buses a day since I dont' drive. But that's okay for now.

State meet was awesome, I couldn't have asked for a better race and the great time I had with my friends. It was all I wanted, just to feel at peace with my efforts of running. I have grown more spiritual because of it.

For the next few days I'll be learning how to manage time better, because now I will have school in the morning and work in the afternoon everyday.

But it's all good stuff though.

Long time no see!

This week has been really busy for me. I didn’t have too much homework but I was just busy having fun. I went to eat Korean barbeque with friends, went to Karaoke, met my aunt, did some homework, watched lots of movies for homework, went to a party and so on. I’ve enjoyed too much this week, so now I am very frustrated finishing all the homework up for next week. As most of you think the same, writing essays is the most intimidating! Most of my friends will have a week off next week, so they asked me to have fun with them today. Oh!! I WISH!

I booked a flight for a conference in Texas that will be held on December 28th. I had been looking it up for a long time, but it’d been so hard to find since a flight for around Christmas time is the most expensive and everybody wants it. I was about to pay something like 350 dollars, which was the cheapest one at that time. But thanks to some of my friends, I found a very great deal that was $280 with tax. I reserved it right away and kept saying “Thank God!!!” I can’t wait for the conference! I just can’t. It has been a long time since I went to Las Vegas with a friend last year.

Yayyy! Thanksgiving week is near! Well but I don’t have any plans for it. I will just have a dinner with my host family or at my friend’s house. We celebrate Thanksgiving in Korea too. It was like a month ago. We usually celebrate it for a couple days. Like in America, all the family members gather at one house and eat traditional Korean food. We mostly have fun all together by playing games or going somewhere fun. And we focus on eating to celebrate Thanksgiving!! Of course, at least 4,5 pounds come with us later. This is an unfortunate part. Oh, I also can’t wait for Black Friday. I don’t know where to go yet, but the part I am pretty sure about is that I’ll go somewhere to get good stuff. Black Friday is always fun. Hopefully there will be lots of reasonable stuff this year!

Let’s not be too sad due to the fact that we won’t have a week off like many other students will. We can learn more while they are having fun. Right? Haha.

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna

Dream Act will be voted on Nov. 29th

Things have rushed real quickly throughout the past two days. First of, I was the poster boy for a story a few friends were making on the dream act. I was filmed around during the day. Interviewed. Asked a lot of questions. Photographed. And well, I was glad to be part of that. That pretty much took the whole day yesterday. All of that is to show what it is like to be an undocumented student. And to be honest, it's not really that different from anybody else. Except for the stuff that goes through your mind and you can't get a job legally or drive or travel out the country. Or get finanacial aid. I have a hard time paying for school as it is.

But you know, I keep a positive outlook on life. I'm a happy person. And that gives me the drive to not give up.

On other topics, this Friday we leave to Fresno for the final race of the season. I'm excited because it's the last, and I'm also relieved because I need a break, I think everyone on the team needs a break. So yes, we are running the State Meet. I didn't get to run it last year. But now I will. I'm gonna give it my best.

Hmmmm. I still need to revise my short story. I've only done my first draft. I had it workshopped in my class but I don't think a lot of people did their part as to read it. The way it works, is somebody submits a work and the whole class reads it, then we disscuss it, I've read pretty much all of them and talked about them in class. But I think when my turn came a lot of people lagged it and I was kinda upset about that. But I was happy my teacher was able to provide really great stuff to me. Feedback. So yeah, Amanda Waltzer-Prieto is just an amazing instructor, she's funny and passionate and even really cute. That's a compliment. Haha.

Yeah I'm dead tired from today. I have a lot of my mind. And there is a lot I haven't spoken about but I will do that sometime soon. I'm not ready to talk of it yet.

But I will say though is, the dream act will be voted on the 29th of this month. i really need this to pass. You guys have no idea how drastically it would change my life. 360 degrees that would be.

So please, if you find it in your heart, call a few senators or send a few emails, look for Dream Act 2010 on facebook and join that, they give out a lot of helpful info as to what to do to get it passed.

Please, do this for me and the thousands of other students that are in my situation. It really is no fun having no identity on a goddamn piece of paper.

Stay Tuned
-angel

stressed!

This week has been a crazy week. I have had so much going on since last wednesday that I do not even know where to begin.

Lets see if I could start here. On Wednesday I left to San Luis Obispo with the women's water polo team for So Cal's. We ended up losing on Friday during quarter finals which ended our weekend journey out there. It was such a sad day for me and I am still trying to recover from it. I wanted to win so badly, however, we could not execute and put our opportunities away. I wish I could say that there is always next year, but that is not the case. I will be graduating this year and I will not be able to play water polo for FJC again. :( I will be transferring and playing water polo for a university but I cannot tell if I will have the same opportunities again.

Back to my stressful week. Since my season ended on Friday, I have been filling out college applications and writing papers for the applications almost nonstop. I think I have been working on getting stuff taken care of for college apps and meeting with different coaches and talking with them since Saturday morning. It is so stressful. I thought that once water polo ended I would have some free time but I think I am busier now then during my season.

I am sad that my season is over because I am going to miss my teammates soooo much! I love those girls. We are like sisters, we would have our differences but in the end we would come together and kick some major butt.

Well, that is it for today, I hope everyone stays more stress free than I am.

Until my fingers meet the keys,

Amber

Catching Up With Time

Hello again. It’s been awhile since our last date but for all good reasons I suppose. It seems as though running, work, and school have taken over my life...for good. I've notice that not as much free time to post blogs or even hang out with family can compare to the amount of studying and sleep deprivation I’ve accumulated over the past 2 months since I’ve began this journey. Since we last met I was telling you about my busy school schedule and a bit of qualities about myself. This time around I think I will focus on a bit of everything.
Our last date I mentioned this interesting photo assignment my Photography teacher gave us and how excited I was to embark on an artistic journey. Well I feel that this Photo 101 class have made me appreciate art to a whole other level and I, in my wildest dreams, would like to be the next Gilles Bensimon to the top fashion models and celebrities of our time. But my true dream of being a Journalist for a fashion magazine is put on hold while I try and understand the connection between marine zones and scale activity for my Oceanography class.

My enjoyment of wearing DKNY perfume has been overshadowed with sweat from this mornings practice, and the love of trending an outfit and paring it with Steve Madden glitter flats have been replaced with Spandex, a beat down Running shirt, and none the less a 6 month old pair of dirty running shoes. "Only on Tuesdays" was the expression used as a joke to label the obscurity of a one day slip up....but it seems though that everyday is a "Only on Tuesdays" kind of day. The need to get 20 more minutes of study time for a History exam is worth sacrificing the usual 30 minutes it takes me to get ready after practice…even if it means ditching the burgundy cardigan I purchased over the weekend.

I feel that the saying parents use most often is “I don’t have enough time in the day to get things done.” Well parentals…I hear ya! There is not enough time in the day to feel completely rested, study 3 hours per class, work a 5.5 hr shift, and spend time with family, my boyfriend, and my puppy. So Father Time if you are out there, give me your clock so I can stop time to have time to finish this date and everything else in my schedule.

Speaking of time, I better start heading over to class.

Till our next date,

Samantha

It's all good stuff

On Sunday I got off work at 10, I came home and started working on that short story I had to finish. By 3 am I was able to complete it and email it. I actually didn't get to sleep until about four in the morning. All I to wake up at six and realize I still had practice.

I couldn't go through with practice, my body was drained from the weekend and from lack of sleep. My throat was hurting so much too. I think because it'd been cold at work and then my body just kinda gave out. I texted my coach and told her what was going on. I think she understood.

So yeah, this morning I didn't go to practice. But on top of that, I had a test for psychology. I actually only had about an hour of study. I took the bus to school and I studied there. Not the best place to do it. I didn't feel very prepared compared to other tests I have taken. I felt pretty shaky about it. So yes. This morning wasn't the smoothest of all. But you know what, regardless of that, it's all good. Because after class, I got to spend some great time with Kyle, we watched a movie called Paris Texas and it was excellent, it actually had me at the verge of tears. In that movie there is a scene where a boy who hasn't seen his mother for many years, re encounters with her again. It reminded me of my own mother and how we met again after not seeing her for two years. When I told kyle that, I almost cried, my voice was starting to break and I know he noticed it. He was very cool about it. We laughed after that though.

After that, another friend named William, along with his friend Julissa, came over to FJC to interview me on regards of me being an undocumented student. They are working on this story or project or contest and their subject was undocumented students. They chose me to be the face of it and I gladly agreed. They filmed me around for a little bit, took some photos, interviewed me and Kyle. And tomorrow they are coming back to see me during practice and they will film me there. They want to see what somebody like me does on a daily basis. The truth is, I'm just like any other guy, I do the same stuff. With the exception of not having a piece of paper that says I have the right to be in this country. Other than that, its' all good stuff.

After that Kyle and I headed to Randy's dinner with his family, Randy is a teammate on the xc team and today was his birthday. He's a real mellow guy and very likable. So yeah, that's where I ended up today. I haven't really had time to catch my breath ever since Saturday.

On a last note, I came home to find "Beyond Borders" on MSNBC, it was a disscussion on immigration.

So you know, I'm happy, I feel happy at the moment. I'm surrounded by great loving people. It's all good, it's all good stuff.

Stay Tuned
-angel

:))

Since we didn’t have school on Friday to observe Veterans Day, I overslept. After I woke up around 10 a.m., I went on Youtube to search for some songs about thanksgiving. There were not as many specific songs about thanksgiving as I thought there would be. Oh the reason I was trying to look for the songs was because I will have a thanksgiving dinner party this following Saturday and sing songs with friends. Seems quite nerve-racking but I can’t wait because I love singing especially Christian songs. That always makes me fully happy.

As most people would feel the same way, Friday is the best day for me. No school (well, I have a morning class but not this week!), the weekend is near, and there is the bible study I usually go to every Friday! I am not sure but I think I mentioned why I love Fridays on the first or second blog. I get very excited for everything every Friday. Sadly, Monday is coming and I have a ton of homework to do since I procrastinated over the weekend. By the way, I am a big procrastinator. I hate to be, but I really am. I need to do papers due Tuesday, do homework and study for a test on Monday.. Wow this is a procrastinator’s life. I bet I won’t do all of them tonight but do some of’em tomorrow morning before I leave for school. See? I am very last minute.

Tomorrow will be a busy day. I have class from 1:30 to 4 and 4:30 to 6:30 and will be tutored at the writing center at 7p.m. After I get home, I will probably have to finish the papers due Tuesday and start to work on the essay for Wednesday. Hope everything goes well next week! I can’t wait for thanksgiving! :)

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna

Pushing through a weekend of work

Well hmmmm another day of work, and I missed at party because of it. What a freakin bummer. Seriously. I did want to go to the party, to the fancy celebration, with friends and just untangle and unravel. But, there are other things at hand that must be dealt with, like work. And this short story that I have to finish by tomorrow so that I can submit it in asap because it will be workshoped on Tuesday by my creative writing class. Yup, ladies and gentleman, I'm a writer in development, that's what I'm. I get a kick out of it. Too much of a kick. I paint too, did I ever say that, I"m an artist, I like to paint using oils, hmmm, I started painting sunsets a while back, now I'm doing abstracts, about growth and progress, these paintings I've been working on lately have a very positive kick to it, they are meant to bring good vibes to whoever owns it. I'm gonna put up pictures of what I do once I get a damn camera. So if you are interested or know anybody that is interested in acquiring some of my artwork, let me know. I would gladly appreciate it.

Tomorrow I have another day of work, from three to ten. I just wanna get it over with, having to work later in the day kinda ruins your whole day, because you can't really go out early and then come back. But oh well, at least I have a job and I can get some money to pay for stuff. I have to save up for school fees this coming semester, that's gonna be around 500 or more, oh my god, so much money. And what bums me out is that I don't really get any financial support from the school or anything. On account that I wasn't born here, and therefore I'm not a citizen or anything, and therefore I don't have the right to many things I can't think of right now. That's why my hopes and dreams lie on the Dream Act. Please, Please, I really want it to pass!

Anyway, I guess I'll go into account of how I wasn't born here and all that other stuff in my next post, I'm kinda tired now.

Stay Tuned
-angel

Yesterday

Yesterday was extremely tiring but so much fun. After about six hours of sleep, I woke up around 7:30 a.m. and got ready for school. I was in a hurry for some reason and I left my cell phone home. Right after the morning class, my friends and I went to L.A., having some goodies in the car for lunch. On the way I was very dizzy and feeling like I’d throw up in a minute. I guess I was getting carsick, but we arrived safely. Whenever I go to L.A. downtown area, I get so excited since I grew up in a big city, Seoul in Korea. High buildings and busy people always remind me of my country. I enjoyed watching people and fancy buildings in Beverly Hills. I really wanted to take pictures of people, building etc, but my camera had no batteries. I took like five pictures while my friends took more than 100 pictures!!!! Ughhh!! I was so mad at my camera. We found a 2 hours-free valet parking lot in the middle of Beverly Hills and got excited again! Yes, we were lucky. We started to look for a reasonable restaurant to eat, but gave up right away when we saw all the overwhelming restaurants. Anyway after taking pictures and looking around, we went to UCLA. As you all already know, UCLA is a great school and has a great view. Even though I’ve been there a couple times, the great view impressed me a lot.

Afterwards, we all went to Santa Monica beach around 5 p.m. I was already exhausted of the long day. I met some Japanese people, so I practiced my Japanese by saying “Nihonjin desuka? (Are you Japanese?)” , and they were like “Oh, Hai so desu! (Yes). ” I was trying to come up with what I’ve learned in class. I finally said “Oh, o namae wa Brianna desu, kankokujin desu. Ii o-tenki desu ne! (My name is Brianna. I’m Korean. Good weather! Isn’t it?!)” They started talking to me in Japanese like “ah hai, blah blah blah blah blah~!!!” I confessed in English that I am not fluent, learning Japanese and just wanted to practice Japanese. They started laughing.. and I got embarrassed. They said they love Korean singers and they are extremely famous now in Japan. I was very proud of them and also myself who at least tried to speak Japanese. I bet my Japanese instructor would be proud of me if she saw my blog! :)

I got back home around 9 p.m. It was a long day! I bragged about myself to a friend of mine about what happened who is actually in Japan, studying abroad. Haha I decided to study Japanese harder. The weird thing is though that I came here to learn English! What the heck? Now I am working on Japanese more than English? My parents would be so upset if they read it. Oh well, they wouldn’t understand English. So I am fine! :)

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna

Child of the earth

Ah hmmm, Coach Harris fell from his bike today, into a ditch, but I didn't see it. It happened during our run. It was near this water fountain on the horse trail. Like I was just passing by and suddenly Coach Harris was coming out of a ditch with his bike, that stroke me as being a bit odd, like why would Coach Harris be in a ditch with his bike right. I asked him, I said, "Hey Coach Harris, did you fall?" And he said, "Hmmm yah, I was trying to go up that incline and I wasn't going fast enough, so I tumbled and I tried to bail but my foot got caught in the wheel." Something like that. He was fine though. Only he scratched his thumb.

That's what happened in today's run.

Later in class, in psych class, hmmm, well nothing really, notes and listening and sitting next to madi and kyle, and pretty much.

I watched a documentary with Kyle later, 180 degrees south, that's what it's called. It depicts the journey of these guys going down into Patagonia Chile to try and climb a mountain. They don't actually get all the way up, they were short a few hundred feet. But there was a lesson in this, that even if we don't accomplish what we seek to do, it's not the end, because we can turn around 180 degrees and take a step forward, turn around and take a step forward. It just means you are rerouting your ways of doing things, because turning back doesn't mean giving up.

I ended up watching another documentary about the effects and consequences immigrants coming from Mexico and South America have to face. Many die, and those who are able to make it still face many other challenges.

Now I'm home. Safe and sound. My mood, right now, I feel reflective. And I give thanks that I have schooling, and food, and shelter, and friends and a healthy life. I'm rich in that sense, I'm a millionaire. I can't even grasp the immensity of how thankful I'm. Like I had this quesadilla today that was so great and delicious, and I thought that it's great I could just get it right there in the cafeteria without any real strugle, I have the means for it, and it's easy. And I thought of those who maybe aren't so lucky. I'm gonna embrace my life more.

Meeting

Today was my only day to sleep in and I have been up since 5:15am. I am so crazy! I am super excited though because I have a meeting at 7:15 this morning with a coach from a University. I should not have scheduled it so early because I really need to get some sleep, but I cannot help it. I have so much to get done and so little time. Why does everything have to be so stressful? Stress is good sometimes because it keeps you grounded but geez. It seems like every deadline happens at exactly the same time. I think all the college do it on purpose to see if we are able to handle pressure and how we manage our time. I think part of it is our fault too because as college students we tend to wait until the last minute to do everything.

Anyways, I have one more day of practice this week and then it is off to San Luis Obispo for the weekend for so cals playoffs. I cannot wait to get up there. I have been praying that my team plays our absolute best. There is no room for error this weekend. I am so excited! I wish there was more time and that we were able to have our coach there but we will do just fine without him. He has prepared us enough for this weekend and now we have to show him that we know how to execute what he has taught us all season.

Wish us luck! All the support is always welcomed with open arms.

Until my fingers meet the keys,
Amber

Something is making me tick

In pyschology, we talked of marriage, and what it takes to develop a good one. But who knows, maybe you won't really know all that stuff until you are there, with your special someone, and then you can be like "wow, they were right," or, "no, they weren't right."

Often I think of myself as an easy going person, and I mean, I'm only 20 years old, soon to be 21 (hooray!) so I still got a long way to go before I get to that place people call marriage. And maybe when you marry it isn't actually being married, maybe being married just means being there together and just kinda going through situations and feeling good while you are at it. I feel I can't really go into a heavy conversation about that, my words wouldn't describe it.

I think I was having spasms during class, oh boy, my head would just shake a bit at times, I think I was twiching.

Then again, this weekend was fast, too pushy. Maybe that's why I was twiching now. Saturday we had a race in San Diego, we made it to state :) I stayed up pretty late that day. Sunday I had work. And OMG! The manager whose guts I hate was there, but to my surprise, he didn't say anything to me so that really helped. And I'm sorry, when I say hate I don't actually mean hate, I just mean dislike, I disliked the way he treated me and made me feel because of the fact I was just beginning that job and he would give me these looks when I would "eff" up stuff.

But I'm past that, I'm Zen, and I no longer care for that. I just go through.

I keep twiching still.

Stay tuned
-angel

Great Week...

There has been so many exciting things that happened this week that I do not even know where to begin. Lets just start in order. The picture is of my sister, mom, and myself at a Halloween party Friday the 29th. My mom won the costume contest for most creative. She was a turkey dinner. hahahaha. Since then so many things have happened. Such a great week.

For example, Halloween was so much fun. I spent the day with my nieces and nephews, got dressed up, and went trunk n' treating with them. I cannot remember the last time I had a chance to do that with them because I am always working. After I hung out with my nieces and nephews, I hung out with my best friend Carrie and we went to Banana Bay which is a restaurant and a bar. It was so much fun! Definitely a night to remember.

On the 4th my brother had a baby girl. Her name is Madeline Serenity. I wish I could have met her already but I have a horrible cough and I do not want to get her sick. Since she has been born, I now have 3 nieces and 8 nephews and then another baby on the way, I am not sure if the baby on the way is a boy or girl. Only time will tell.

Also, on the 4th I heard from the University of Redlands women's water polo coach. I have been waiting to hear from him for almost 3 weeks and he finally got back to me. I believe we were on the phone for over a half an hour just talking about all the things the school has to offer and how I would be a great fit on the team and at the university. I am feeling great about applying there and talking to the coach, however, they do not offer athletic scholarships and I really need one in order to continue my education. I do have another school willing to give my money to play for them but I do not know what to do when my heart is somewhere else. The terrible decisions that must be made.

On the 6th it was my nephew/godson's birthday. I did not get a chance to talk to him because I had games and other things going on the entire day but I will be getting him the best present soon. On the 7th it was my nieces birthday. She is basically like my daughter. She thinks she is mine and calls me Ammie which is her word for auntie mommie. I am one of her legal guardians so it is ok that she calls me whatever she would like.

Last night I had a very interesting conversation with a coworker and it made my night. Funniest thing was we ended up going to In n Out to have a shake and to finish our conversation, and ended up staying longer than we thought because we lost track of time. Overall, great company last night and hopefully another night soon.

Once I got home, my mother received a phone call from my brother around midnight. I have not heard from or talked to my brother in over two years. Last night I got to talk to him for a little bit and realized that it has been way too long. The reason I have not talked to him is too long to explain now but stick around and I will tell all about it next time.

Until my fingers meet the keys,

Amber

Halloweek end

Santa Barbara, or more specific, Isla Vista, is quite the college town. On Halloween night it was really packed. People were getting arrested right in front of my face, there was this guy that was urinating in a kiddie's pool and people in the balcony were egging him on, but he didn't realize there were two cops standing right behind him so when he was done, they came and took him down and arrested him. But of course, it was only the trouble makers that were being taken away by the cops. Everybody else was just walking along DP street just having fun, and I was there. Being lost in the crow with so many people, everybody was my age, that's something I've never quite experience.

The rest of the trip to SF turned out to be really pleasing. I think this trip was more about self exploration. I got to pet a seal and take a picture with it. I got to do lots of other stuff that were fun.

Coach yelled at me because I missed practice on Monday, on account of still being on my trip. But you know, I don't regret it, not one bit. That trip was worth everything, and I would do it all over again.

I remember while she was giving me the speech she said "you couldn't have waited to take this trip, a couple weeks, two months from now."

I didn't know what to think then but later I realized that no, I couldn't have waited, because I'm not gonna wait around all my life to do the things I'm able to do. But some people won't understand that.

Other than that, psych class got canceled today. So I came back home a bit after practice and just slept. I've been sleeping a lot lately.

Halloween

What were you for Halloween this time?

I was Big Bird!

I did trick or treating last year but I wasn’t really enjoying Halloween except for a bunch of candy. It seemed like trick or treating was more for little kids than a college kid! So.. Rather than doing trick or treating this time I was just home, doing homework and sometimes welcoming little kids with candy.. But, I enjoyed Halloween in my own way! I had a harvest party last Friday instead with a lot of friends. We carved pumpkins, made jack-o-lanterns, took lots of pictures, ate lots of pizza and candy and played games. I was roasting due to the costume, but it was so much fun!

As a Christian, I don’t celebrate Halloween like others, but I enjoy looking at other people’s costumes and houses! Our school had a costume contest last Thursday and I couldn’t take my eyes off of the contestants. They all dressed up with cute and funny costumes! I loved it. My costume was one of the things I enjoyed for Halloween. I got it really reasonable at Target and everybody loved it. (At least that’s what they told me!! …..oh well I am honestly not sure if they really meant it or NOT!)

After I carved a pumpkin, I heard a pumpkin prayer and it was really neat.

-Pumpkin Prayer-

Cut off the top: Lord, open my mind and fill me with your wisdom and guidance.

Scoop out the yuckies: Lord, take out all my fussies and frownies and fill me with your love

Carve out the eyes: Lord, open my eyes to see all of the beautiful things you have made.

Carve out the nose: Lord, help me to be a sweet fragrance for you.

Carve out the mouth: Lord, help me to always speak your words of love and kindness

Place in a candle: Lord, let me be a light to others for you have filled me with your light.

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.

God lifts me up, takes me in and washes all the dirt off of me. He opens me up, touches me deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then, He carves me a new smiling face and puts His light inside me to shine for the entire world to see.

I was very happy to carve pumpkins, thinking of this prayer because He is the only God I will love forever.

How did you enjoy your Halloween? Did you have fun or just study home alone?

I hope you didn’t just study.

After all, tomorrow is another day, Brianna